So you’re on LighterLife and you look and feel fantastic! However, you’ve encountered a surprising lack of enthusiasm from certain people in your life. Here, we take a look at why some people react negatively to your weight loss and might rain on your parade.
In a perfect world, we would all applaud the successes of others and not feel threatened in any way. In reality, we sometimes reflect our own failures or feelings of inadequacy on to those closest to us. Fear, shame, jealousy…these can all be incredibly destructive emotions. And, if left unchecked, they can affect our relationships dramatically.
When you lose weight, people around you will, more often than not, applaud you for your weight loss. However, sometimes they can react negatively to your success. They may say things like ‘you look too thin’, or ‘I miss the old you’, which can make you feel upset or rejected.
What you need to remember is that their negative reactions aren’t about you – it’s about them. Their negativity is a projection of their own feelings of jealousy, fear, inadequacy or shame. Your LighterLife success may also serve as a reminder to others of their own failed attempts at weight loss.
Face the problem
Take a look at how you can deal with the problem – without compromising your own journey.
Be honest with people
Let them know how it used to be for you and how it is now – paint a mental before and after picture. Let them know how unhappy you were. Tell them how you now feel confident; you speak up for yourself, you go out more. It’s not just about wearing fashionable clothes, it’s about living a more fulfilling life.
If you used to take the back seat when you were bigger, don’t go back to your old ways. Speak up and stand up for yourself! Ask them to explain how they feel so you can resolve the situation. Maybe it’s a case of them feeling low about themselves? If this is the case then compliment them, boost their confidence.
Just be you!
Talk to those people who may not believe they can lose weight. Don’t just ignore negative comments, talk about them, let people know that your LighterLife journey is not just about weight loss and looking good, it’s about changing your mindset and learning to live in a healthier way.
It is good to note that not all concerns about too much weight loss come from a jealous or negative place. Some family members or friends might be concerned about your drastic weight loss, as they may believe you could be unwell.
We would tackle this situation with our LighterLife theory E + R = O. That’s Event + Response = Outcome. You can’t control the Event, but you can control how you Respond. And that makes all the difference. Most people live their lives as if E = O (Event = Outcome).
When a friend or family member react negatively to you losing weight (Event), instead of shouting them down or getting upset (Outcome), explain why you needed to lose the weight (Response). Whether it was for health reasons, self-esteem levels or wanting to drop a dress size controlling the situation calmly will resolve the issue. How we respond is what makes the outcome different, and not the event.