LighterLife has given ME back
Do you feel so sad when you look in a mirror that you just cry? Do you feel ashamed when you’re in a clothes shop changing room? Do you feel that you’re not really living anymore? That used to be me.
I’d been gaining, losing and regaining weight for over 40 years, but my big wake-up call came last year. I had a dreadful cough which wouldn’t go away, chronic acid reflux and, after walking upstairs, I’d need to sit down on the bed to catch my breath.
My GP sent me off for blood tests, lung and heart scans, an endoscopy and an angiogram. In a way, I was hoping the doctors would find something wrong, something they could fix.
All the tests came back negative, thank goodness. But now I had to admit what the problem was. My weight. I was so fat that I was making myself very ill. In my early sixties and with young grandchildren to keep up with, I didn’t want to grow old unfit and in poor health. This was something I had to fix myself.
Back to the beginning…
Two months before my wedding in 1981, my mum said I needed to lose weight. I was 20 and had honestly never thought about my weight until then. I was just me. Looking back, I was only about ten stone, but that was a lot for me at the time. She bought me cottage cheese, crackers, natural yoghurts and lots of salads, and lost about a stone.
Over the years, however, the weight crept back on. I did lose quite a lot with one slimming club, but it took more than a year. Then I tried two others, but they were a complete waste of time – I lost nothing at all on one and only a couple of pounds in a month on the other.
My LighterLife journey
I discovered LighterLife in 2010 and lost 4st 7lb in four months. The TotalFast plan was so easy – no Calorie-counting or weighing out food, no meal planning or following recipes, no looking at the back of packages to check the ingredients or the traffic-light symbols. And knowing I was getting all the nutrition I needed was incredibly reassuring.
However, when I got to my goal weight, I mistakenly thought I’d finally cracked my eating problems, so I stopped going to my group and didn’t do Management – and eventually went back to my old ways.
A few years later, we moved to Surrey and I joined my local LighterLife group, run by my current Mentor, Hazel. Again, I lost over four stone, and again I didn’t do Management. So, once more, it was back to the old weight and old me again.
Eventually, I realised that I needed help. So I went back to Hazel, lost a lot of weight again, and was really happy – I even did a video for LighterLife, sharing my success story. And I was sure that this time it would be different. But then life took a bad turn – my husband was made redundant, we had to sell our beautiful home, and money was so tight that I told myself I simply couldn’t afford LighterLife or doing Management.
Admitting I’m a food addict
It took a while to turn things around, but we are now financially secure, retired and happily settled in the Peak District. By this time, I’d finally admitted to myself that I’m a food addict and that I needed to get serious about tackling my addiction. And that’s why I came back to LighterLife.
The CBT in your group helps you change your mindset around food and the ongoing support of the Management programme keeps you focused on managing your weight and your life – if you engage with it. And I was finally in the right place to do that.
Energised and fresh after just one week
For the first three to four days on TotalFast, I felt tired, hungry, cold and headachy. But before the end of the first week, I was in ketosis and feeling much better. I had more energy than ever and didn’t feel hungry at all. Within a couple of weeks, I’d lost my first stone, and after five weeks, another stone had gone!
I have quite a few favourite products, including the Porridge FastPot, the Pink Grapefruit Drink Mix and my morning latte – a hot Vanilla shake with strong powdered coffee. I also love making ice cream with a shake and an ice cream plate – Hazel recommended it, and it’s so delicious that I’ll never eat regular ice cream again! I can honestly say that these will all be my “go-to” things even after I’ve completed Management.
Such a different person
Compared to anything else I’ve done to try to manage my weight, LighterLife has been outstanding, from the support from Hazel and the group sessions, to the ease of the programme and the fast weight loss, which really kept me on
track, especially because I felt so full of energy – and I still do in Management. I’m learning how to look at food and indeed myself differently – I’m truly such a different person now.
I’ve also realised that managing your weight is a journey, and it’s great to have the support of my LighterLife Mentor and the lovely, inspirational ladies in my group to walk with me on it.
My focus is no longer on food
The weekly online sessions with Hazel and my group have been invaluable. They’ve made me realise just how powerful I really am – I’m the one in control of me. I’m no longer willing to listen to people who want me to fail or who think they’re “helping” by suggesting that perhaps just a small portion will make me feel better. I feel fantastic, thank you very much!
Thanks to the work we’ve done in our group around mindfulness and mindlessness, I now look in detail at how I’m really feeling and why I’m feeling that way. I think carefully about what I actually need in the moment, rather than reaching for what’s in the fridge for “support”.
I use the mindfulness tools to relax, clear my head and keep me calmer and happier. Because if I’m feeling relaxed, happy and in control, I honestly don’t even think about eating. I’m too busy doing the things that I love, like hiking in the Peaks and playing with my grandchildren. I’m now able to concentrate on the important things in my life because my focus is no longer on food all the time.
So much support
My group are all really kind and supportive, and I now speak and text regularly with one lady who contacted me directly. That has made a huge difference to me – I feel I’ve found a friend. And Hazel is so lovely and caring – she understands everything we are all going through. My family are also 100% supportive and so glad I’ve finally done something to get myself back.
New confidence to enjoy my life
My life has always centred around my family – we have three daughters in the UK and a son in the US, with four grandchildren here and one in the US. I never wanted to travel before I lost the weight, but now I want to get on a plane and spend time with my family on the other side of the Atlantic.
I’ve always been a nervous flyer, but when you’re overweight and have zero self-confidence, it makes you feel even worse and that everyone is looking at you, and not in a good way. Phobias, I think, are intensified when you have no self-confidence.
My newfound confidence also means that I’ve started to wear jewellery again, get my nails done and take time to do my hair rather than just pull it back into a ponytail. I can even give myself a toenail tidy-up without feeling like I’m suffocating!
And I’m making time for me. I’ve purchased some painting-by-numbers kits and a really large book of mandalas to colour, because the mandalas in the Recreating Me pack were so relaxing.
When I’m walking, now I only stop to look at the view!
Living in the Peak District means there are plenty of wonderful footpaths to enjoy and I’m now making the most of them. I can walk miles and don’t have to stop – apart from to look at the view!
I’m also sleeping better than I ever have. After years of blaming the menopause for poor sleep, I now get a solid seven to eight hours every night. All my other menopause symptoms – which I seem to have been suffering from for ever – have either disappeared or vastly improved. No more hot flushes, terrible reflux, tiredness, fatigue and desperate brain fog.
Most important for me, though, is being able to run upstairs instead of pulling myself up by the banisters, being able to climb through every area of the soft play centres and swoosh down the slides with the grandkids, and chase them – I can actually run around with them.
A completely new wardrobe
I’ve started clothes shopping again – in fact, I’ve been doing it constantly and have completely restocked my wardrobe, including a pair of size 8/10 jeans! I’m so looking forward to many more shopping trips – it’s great being able to buy what I want rather than just a handbag or a piece of jewellery. I feel sexier, too – a nice by-product for my poor suffering hubby, lol!
My wardrobe used to have just about every size in it, from eight up to 20. All the larger sizes have gone in the bin, because I’ll never ever need them again. I’ve also resurrected a bag full of gorgeous bras that were too small before. My winter coats now do up all the way down, and my long boots zip all the way to my knees – I no longer have to wear knitted cuffs at the top to hide the fact that they weren’t fastened properly.
Although I’m now 64, I’ve never felt like I’m in my sixties – I still feel 20 some days. So I’m going to dress like I’m younger, too. Although I draw the line at 20-something… maybe I’ll just pretend I’m 40!
What I’ve learned in my group
I now know that my mind is powerful – I can control my own destiny, my own life, how I live it and how I enjoy it. By looking at everything I do and feel, I can prepare for situations I might find challenging – not just around food, but in all areas of my life. Being prepared means I can stay true to myself and my goals and make the best choices for me.
I’ve realised that it’s about me – I can see I let myself go. In fact, I actually left myself behind. I’ve always taken care of everyone else around me, and I always will continue to do that, but now I see that I’m important, too.
My advice for success on the programme
- You can still go out for the day, go to family gatherings and parties, go on holiday – just plan ahead. Take Foodpacks with you to cover the periods.
- Don’t let others’ voices drown out your own voice. Listen to your helpful inner voice – don’t let someone else’s negativity throw you off course, especially in those moments when you’re out with friends or family at an event. You’ve got this – show them all just what you’re made of and what you can do for yourself!
- Drink plenty of water, but don’t feel like you’ve got to be constantly drinking water. Drink when you feel thirsty. I always make sure I drink at least two litres of water a day, but everybody is different, so just make sure you never feel thirsty.
- Keep to plan. Throwing yourself out of ketosis is miserable. Please keep going and don’t give up – you are worth it! Stay in touch with your support group and Mentor – share moments of achievement (it really inspires others) and ask for support or help when you need it. We are all in this together and going through the same things every day.
Maintaining my weight in Management
I’ve been in Management for a couple of months now, and my weight stays the same each week. It’s fantastic keeping myself healthy and more active without having to actually think about it.
What’s also really interesting is that I’m finding I don’t like so many of the foods I used to eat anymore. I’m on a journey of finding a new way of eating healthily and finding foods I enjoy that support this.
I did it – and you can too!
I want everyone who feels unable to conquer their food addictions, who cries at their reflection in the mirror and feels worthless because of their weight to feel happy and great about themselves like I do now. I want to say to them, “I used to feel all these things, and LighterLife’s helped me change everything – it’s helped me get ME back. So come on, do it, and get you back, too!”
