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Improve your sex life if you’re not body confident

by Tracey Cox, Sex Expert

 

Learn to love at least parts of your body

OK, you don’t like your tummy or your thighs, what about your arms, shoulders, hands or feet. Start focusing on those areas during sex, pamper them, and show them off. Thin people pay more attention to themselves – if you don’t like your body and don’t like paying attention to it, you’re not going to want to shave, preen, fake tan etc – yet all those things do make us feel more confident about showing it off to our partner.

 

Focus on what you’re feeling, not how you’re looking.

Close your eyes and lose yourself in sensation rather than focusing on what you think you partner is seeing.

 

The less hang-ups you have about your body, the more positively your partner will see it.

It’s something sex therapists rattle on about all the time and it’s not a cliché – its enthusiasm and confidence that’s attractive in bed, regardless of what size you are.

 

Some practical things:

· Decide what time of the day you feel you do look your best and have sex then. Like have sex first, then go out to dinner. Don’t do it last thing at night when feel heavy or uncomfortable but first thing in morning when feel lightest.

 

· If absolutely don’t want to be naked, buy some low-cut sexy tops that flatter your chest but cover the rest and leave it on during sex. Or try a see through nightie. The classic baby doll shape is flattering and won’t get in the way of sex. Leaving an old food-stained T-shirt on during sex isn’t sexy but leaving a sexy nightie on is – plus you’ll feel sexier because you feel more comfortable.

 

· Pick your position. Forget the missionary position, rear-entry positions are the most flattering, especially if you lift your bottom high in the air and lean forwards on your forearms. Not only does it give him a visual treat, the angle and position makes your waist look tiny and your thighs slim and taut.

If you do opt for missionary, make a pudgy upper midriff look sexier by stretching your arms up over your head and grabbing onto the bedposts or by placing them flat on the wall behind the bed.

 

·Leave the light on, just be sneaky about how you do it. Put candles on the floor on saucers or simply plunk the bedside light down there. Lighting from below is far more flattering. Another good fat-day trick: Blindfold him and let it all hang out.